In The Closet

I often find myself thinking about how much I would love to just empty my wardrobe and start again. Just bag it all up and give it all to charity. Starting with the lingerie, natch. Clearly I’d need some sort of government funding to be able to suddenly afford to do this but good god it would be satisfying.

I know fine well that when I do go shopping I’ll more than likely just buy something incredibly similar to something that I already own. I am aware that I purchase plain black top after plain black top, cream jumpers by the shelf-full and I’d buy dark denim jeans until I’ve bankrupted myself and, as a result my wardrobe is heaving with almost identical items of clothing.
I think I have a problem.

So maybe it’s time to start over.

Wouldn’t that be refreshing? Just to give it all away and start again with one of those infamous ‘capsule’ wardrobes that clever people like Gok Wan are always championing. It looks so tidy and easy and organised. I completely envy people who can maintain a wardrobe with key pieces in; one jumper, two vest tops, a blazer, skinny jeans etc. These people can be ready for anything because they have so little choice but what they do have is perfect. I don’t feel ‘ready for anything’ unless I’ve got several choices of outfit for every occasion, my favourite guilty pleasure being fitted Victoria Beckham-esque dresses for weddings/cocktails/interviews/merely sitting pretty in.
People with such limited wardrobes must just be able to throw their entire collection into a suitcase and disappear on holiday at the drop of a hat.
When I’m packing (always two days before a trip) I like to spend a good hour taking everything out of my closet to rediscover the summery things I’d forgotten I owned, and then picking suitcase contents from them.
Well sort of.
Oh who am I kidding? Even then I still go shopping before each holiday and buy all new ‘holiday clothes’. Terrible habit! Buying new things all the time and being terrified to toss anything out “incase I need it” is horrendous.
I just stuff my cupboards until they’re fit to burst and then tentatively remove the things I realise I will never wear again. Even then I’ll find I start second guessing myself and sneaking a few things back in before the pile actually makes it as far as Oxfam…

I wouldn’t care but in every other aspect of my life I’m so clutter free! I can’t bare things building up elsewhere in the house. I throw/give magazines away as soon as I’ve read them, I don’t keep piles of unopened post anywhere, I don’t like having the bathroom filled with squillions of half empty bottles of shampoo. But when it comes to my closet, I just close the door and pretend it’s not happening. Out of sight indeed!

Perhaps I need someone to take control for me, to strip me bare and then sponsor me (I’d definitely need sponsorship!) in order to restock my new ‘capsule wardrobe’. Maybe then I could be as cool, calm and collected as those martyrs who only keep things for one season and then remove them. Sending their beloved clothes to the great wardrobe in the sky. As opposed to the clothes limbo I bury my head and hide in.

*cue wistful sigh*

It all sounds like such a good idea. Now all I need is a lottery win.

Maybe next year…

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The L.B.D
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